Leaving it all Behind

When I returned from my trip to Northern California back in August, after attending the BlogHer’14 conference, I wrote about how impactful the trip had been for me and that I could see myself living in the Bay Area. (I wrote a little bit about it here). Even on the flight home I was starting to think about how to make it happen.  Fast forward 12 weeks and I am sitting in my new home in the East Bay with a glimpse of the San Francisco skyline and Bay Bridge in my line of sight as I write this.

As I started to write this post, I wondered if it was possible to put into words the whirlwind Grand Adventure I have been on since that day in early August when I said to my husband “why don’t we just put the house on the market and see what happens.”

It feels like there was a bright light, a whooosh and a snap and here I am. Of course the adventure was much more than that. In fact it was a complete lane change. While we’d been talking about moving to the Bay Area for several years in a “wouldn’t it be fun someday” way, the stars truly aligned for this move.

And it all started with me saying “Yes” to the life I wanted and then jumping without a net! (This has been a theme for me this year for sure!)

Less than six weeks after the house went on the market, I found myself pulling out of my driveway for the last time, prepping for a 2800-mile trek across the country. The emotions that I experienced during this time put me on quite a roller coaster ride. Going from excited to petrified; happy to distraught, back and forth and up and down. Exhausting.

I observed a number of things about myself during this process. For one, I realized that I was more attached to some of my material possessions that I could have ever imagined. I mean, really, I had heart palpitations when I realized that we were going to be selling our gas grill or that I was going to have to let go of certain pieces of furniture that we were not going to have room for in our new, much smaller home. There were bigger things I had to let go of like which of my children’s toys, art projects and school papers would make the move with me; lots of tears shed with this one. Then there was the house, my beautiful home. It was my dream home from the moment I stepped foot in it and honestly still held that place in my soul when I closed the garage door for the last time. I had to keep reminding myself that these are things; just things and it was time to let them all go. The memories and connection to these things will still live on in my heart.

Even more challenging and emotional for me were the so many good-byes and “see you laters” that I had to say to my children, family, friends and amazing communities of yogis, runners and Instagrammers; many of whom were the people who helped keep me grounded during some of the most difficult years of my life.

With as much excitement as I was feeling about this new adventure, it was also very challenging for me to say good-bye to the place I called home for more than 40 years; I was saying goodbye to the only place I’d ever known as home.

A completely fresh slate. A new start. As I write this post, it’s been two weeks since we arrived here in Northern California. I am still finding my bearings and at times feel a bit overwhelmed by the whole adventure. I am also a bit home sick and missing my people. Thank goodness for technology that keeps us just a click, a text or phone call away. I am also hopeful and excited to keep moving forward with my work, advocacy support and writing projects. And knowing that I won’t be shoveling out from under 100 plus inches of snow this year is also good for my soul and spirit!

I’ve learned a lot in the last 12 weeks, still sorting it out and feeling all of it. One thing that I can say for certain is that sometimes you have to leave it behind before you can move it forward. Time will tell and life will unfold; one-step or giant leap at a time.