This post was originally published as part of Gently Moving Forward‘s Be Love Month
Does it feel like everywhere you look these days, there are reminders that it’s February, the month of love? How often do you see a commercial or hear a radio spot about love and think “ugh, really, blah blah blah”? I get it. I really do. Don’t get me wrong, I love love. I love being in love, I love loving my friends and family too. But I also know that sometimes, love can be really painful and the reminder of it, constantly all around, can feel paralyzing and downright depressing. When we experience painful heartbreaking moments in our lives, seeing other people living life with their heart wide open can feel scary or even leave us feeling a bit uncomfortable and angry.
For years, I closed my heart down little by little with each painful situation that came my way. From bad boyfriend break-ups, to my divorce, to feeling abandoned by those I gave my heart to, it seemed like the only way I could survive was to lock my heart down tight. If I didn’t love big, I couldn’t be hurt big, right?
Can you guess how that worked for me? Well, as you can imagine, on the surface it kept me safe, warm and dry. But below the surface, trouble was brewing. When I chose to make decisions from a place of closed-heartedness those decisions didn’t benefit anyone and overtime, the people in my life who really deserved to be loved with the wholeness of me, were left to wonder if there was something wrong or flawed about them. It’s ironic how even when we try to really hard to not repeat the mistakes of our generations past, we wake up one day and find ourselves dishing out exactly what we were served up.
I now truly believe that we are here for one very important reason and that is to love with all our hearts. So I am sure it won’t surprise you when I tell you that life blew my doors completely off in an effort to teach me how to open my heart up and love fully once again.
You know what though? I listened. Crisis after crisis occurred in my life; crises that could have resulted in further closing of my heart, affecting those who I truly cared about the most. I could have easily turned to unhealthy things to fill the ever-growing hole in my heart, because contrary to popular belief about protecting yourself from hurt, when you shut down your ability to love it creates a cavernous crevasse in your soul. Instead, I chose to learn to love again. Love with an open heart.
Now, I wish that I could say that it’s been an easy path… **Read the rest of the post HERE
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