Guest Post: Powerful Principles of Self Love

A warm welcome to today’s Guest Blogger, Martha Tassinari, Founder and President of Holistic Recovery Solutions. Martha and I met through social media and realized almost immediately how aligned we are in the work that we do to support others.  From my own personal experience, as a Caregiver, I know first hand how powerful Self-love can be, both in times of crisis as well as in the “normal” busyness of our day-to-day lives.

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Photo provided by Author

Powerful Principles of Self Love

“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change your entire life.” (Christopher K. Germer)

 I love this quote and I truly believe that practicing self-compassion and self-love are key components in the connecting to our authentic self. It takes practice, but without addressing this you continue to stay stuck in unhealthy patterns or your conditioned self.

We as women/caregivers may have developed a conditioned pattern or belief that taking care of ourselves is a “selfish act”.

The good news is that patterns can be changed!

• Are you unable to set appropriate boundaries?
• Are you constantly rescuing others?
• Do you have difficulty saying “No”?

We tend to put ourselves on the back burner. You probably are familiar with the phrase “put your own oxygen mask on first before you help someone else.”   How can we help others if we are not receiving our own oxygen and feeling depleted?

There are a variety of reasons why we don’t take care of ourselves. The bottom line-it comes down to self-worth, deservability, self-love, and how you value yourself.  Many of us who have been affected by a difficult life challenge and may have neglected our own self-care or perhaps have a distorted perception of self worth.

Self-love and self-compassion is an inside job. It is about taking loving actions that support you in your personal, emotional, and spiritual growth.  The level of your self-love affects every aspect of your life-your career, finances, relationships, and health. Self-care is a direct reflection of how we love ourselves.

The most important concept of self-love is seeing yourself through the lens of your authentic self. Your authentic self is that part of you that knows the truth of who you really are. You are not defined by your past or present conditions. Nothing can change the worth of your authentic self.

Signs that you are in your authentic self are being in a state of joy, connecting to your spiritual connection, feeling empowered, and taking loving care of yourself.

My 5 Secrets to Practicing Self-Love and Nurturing your Soul:

1. Physical: Taking care of your body is an act of self-love:

• Eat healthy meals regularly
• Get adequate sleep every night
• Drink plenty of water throughout the day
• Exercise regularly

2. Spiritual: Develop a daily spiritual practice. Begin with 10 minutes and work your way up to 30 minutes. This practice can be very powerful and help you dramatically make a shift in your life.  Everyone has their own unique way of connecting to their Divine Guidance. Here are a just few suggestions:

• Journal /mediation
• Read a daily devotional/positive affirmations, or pray
• Connect with Spirit in nature

3. Mental: Are you at peace with your life?   Do you experience feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, fear, self-doubt, self-judgment, and have difficulty acknowledging your own needs?(This is your conditioned self)

• Create healthy boundaries: Set limits on what you will allow yourself to do for other people. Notice who or what is depleting you energetically. Where are you giving your power away?
  • Make a list of the boundaries you want to create and choose one. The most important thing is to stick to your boundaries! Learn to say “NO” from a place of love and compassion.

4. Emotional: Are you holding on to past memories that are keeping your from moving forward in your life? Where are you investing all your energy?

• Many times we are afraid to let things go from the past for fear of losing something or leaving it behind. What would get to happen for you if you were to leave it behind?
• Acknowledge your feelings and the past memory that is painful. Notice where you are feeling it in your body. Don’t try to ignore or push those thoughts away.
• Many of us attempt to bury our pain deep inside our hearts. We cram unforgiveness, resentment, and anger into our sealed container, but one day that seal breaks and all those emotions rise to the surface and may cause physical and emotional harm.
• Give yourself permission to feel the feelings, let it go, and release those painful memories, emotional blocks, and limiting beliefs. Most importantly, be willing and see yourself as capable of letting it go.
• That inner critic called your “ego” or conditioned self is going to try to prevent you from moving forward since it believes you have to hold on in order to survive. Learn to talk to your inner critic and make an effort to quiet the voice with compassion.
• For example, “Inner Critic I know you are here to protect me and let me know what I need to work on, but your voice is not serving me right now and I need you to stop being so judgmental.”
• Connect to your authentic self. Your authentic self is that part of you that knows the truth. She is the wise loving woman within you that is full of joy and wisdom.

5. Protect yourself from other people’s negative energy and drama: Distance yourself from the source of negative energy whenever possible.  Shield and protect yourself from the person or situation that is creating stress in your life.  Visualize a beautiful white light surrounding your entire body or whatever color empowers you and gives you strength.

Here are a few suggestions to practice self-compassion:

• Set an intention and create action steps to implement a self-compassion plan that feels supportive. (chunk it down into simple steps).
• Take a self-compassion break: Say to yourself: “May I be kind to myself”.

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Martha Tassinari is the Founder and President of Holistic Recovery Solutions.  She is a Holistic Life Transitions Coach and works with women who are struggling with painful life transitions such as divorce, betrayal, grief, loss, cancer, and emotional and physical trauma.  Martha inspires women to embrace challenging life transitions as a catalyst for spiritual and personal transformation.

Martha private transformational coaching programs, private VIP days, workshops, and on-line programs. She is based in Sandwich, MA but works with women globally through phone and Skype.

You can find out more about Martha on her website www.holisticrecoverysolutions.com