• Home
  • About Amy
  • Caregiver Support
  • Advocacy
  • Closer to Paradise
  • Speaker Engagements
  • Blog
  • Contact Me

Amy White

Caregiver Champion, Coach and Intuitive

Parent & Caregiver Support

Want a sneak peak into Closer to Paradise: A Mother's Journey through Crisis and Healing? Click here for a FREE chapter download!

You are here: Home / Caregivers / Living Life Out Loud

Living Life Out Loud

February 17, 2016 by Amy White 4 Comments

out loud

Photo courtesy of @pawhite

It’s been a while since I’ve written a post here.

Oh, there are many reasons for the delay. Back at the end of November, I finished the more than one-year process of writing my book- writing, editing, scrapping, and writing some more. You get the picture! When I finished the project and called the book “done”, I felt as though I had no words left to share. I suppose this is a good thing, right?

December brought not just the holidays but also a family emergency that took me back to the east coast for a couple weeks. It also took me back into the realm of behavioral health care and supporting a loved one in crisis. Since then I have been riding the pendulum, swinging between hope and despair, love and self-loathing, fear and trust. I’ve had to face my shadows but also celebrate the deep healing shifts that come from crisis.

I feel strongly that it is my purpose to share my life out loud. I’ve realized that in order to share, I need to take the time to process and digest all of the things that life has thrown at me and continues to throw at me for that matter.

I believe that we are given opportunities, through difficult circumstances, to observe and become aware of those things in our lives that need to be healed.

For me, the first thing that comes up in a crisis situation is my strong desire to make everything better. I have a tendency to want to jump in and fix the situation, doing whatever I have to do in order to accomplish this goal. Unfortunately, this often translates into disregarding my own needs for self-care and self-love to “make” the other person feel better.

And I’m aware that when I go into this mode of caring, my actions, thoughts and internal talk reflect more than simply disregarding my personal needs. I find that deep below the surface there is a feeling that I need to somehow punish myself for the fact that things have gone wrong. Does this make sense? Maybe you’ve felt some of this yourself.

When things go wrong, I subconsciously, and perhaps sometimes consciously, want to punish myself for it.

During these past few months of crises and challenges, I have come to recognize, fairly quickly, this old habit of self-punishment. I truly believe that in any habit or situation that we’d like to change, awareness is the key to making the shift. That doesn’t mean that just because I see it I can change it immediately. In fact, I often move through a whole process (anger, denial, despair and surrender) before I finally let go of the unhealthy habit or belief.

Surrender is the only way to open the door to peace.

For years the very word surrender would send waves of indignation through my body. I thought “there is no way I will ever raise the white flag above my head”. I held onto the belief that surrender equaled giving up, resigning and even failure. So I fought more, fought harder. As you can imagine, I didn’t find my way to peace through more fighting or struggle. This constant feeling that I had to be in battle only fueled the self-loathing and punishment.

Truth be told, surrender felt a lot like giving up control. Since my mode was to take on the responsibility to fix those things that were not mine, I needed to feel in control of the solution and ultimately the resolution so that I felt good about myself.

Over time, and with the help of many wonderful teachers and friends, I have come to realize that surrender isn’t negative at all. When my son went through his crisis and I worked so hard to make things better for him, I came to a realization, even then, that his challenges and disappointments weren’t mine to fix. And no matter how much I wanted them to be within my control, they were not.

Living life out loud means authentically showing up in the world.

I recognize that I need to release those things (beliefs, thoughts, ideas) that no longer serve me and trust that there is a higher plan for all of the challenges and struggles that I experience in my life. Likewise, each day I’m given the opportunity to show up in life as my authentic self and open the door to peace. The path is mine to choose. It’s not about perfection but it is about recognition and choice.

Truth is, though it may look different for each of us, we all have the opportunity to open the door to peace in our lives each day, even in the midst of a crises or challenging situations. And on the other side of that door is where we live our lives out loud.

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Pinterest
  • More
  • Print
  • Reddit
  • Pocket
  • Tumblr

Related

Filed Under: Caregivers, Coaching, Healing, Mental Health Support, Parenting Tagged With: advice, advocacy, care, caregiver, coaching, community, compassion, courage, healing, hope, letting go, love, Mother, self love, support, understanding, writing

About Amy White

Amy White is an International Best Selling Author, Coach and Mental Health Advocate. She is a storyteller, a lover of words and a champion for mental health and wellness. A self-proclaimed square peg in a round world, Amy is learning to love all of the bits and pieces of her life and works to help others love theirs and find their way back to Paradise.

Comments

  1. Kat says

    February 17, 2016 at 10:44 am

    Amy, I appreciate your honesty and transparency and can relate to taking time to process, before sharing publicly. Peace, like any other state of being, is a choice. Thank you for this beautiful reminder.

    Reply
    • Amy White says

      February 18, 2016 at 6:30 am

      Thank you so much Kat for your comments. Peace is a choice, not always easy to choose when things feel out of control. That’s for sure! Love to you, xo

      Reply
  2. Cheryl DiFrancesco says

    February 17, 2016 at 5:19 pm

    So eloquently said my friend!

    Reply
    • Amy White says

      February 18, 2016 at 6:30 am

      Thank you so much Cheryl! Sending lots of love your way! Hope all is well xo

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Visit AmyWhite.co for these offerings:

  • Intuitive Coaching
  • Intuitive Mediumship
  • Prescripts Jewelry
  • Book Sessions

BUY THE BOOK!

Closer to Paradise

About Amy White

Hi there!
I’m Amy White.

After my teenaged son's mental health crisis, I started offering parent & caregiver support services through my blog as well as coaching and advocacy work.

My goal is to share my story so that others know they are not alone.
Want to learn more?

Want to have a sneak peak into Closer to Paradise: A Mother's Journey through Crisis and Healing? Get your FREE Chapter Download NOW!

Follow Me

  • Bloglovin
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Search

Copyright © 2023 · Amy White - FarFromParadise.org


Far From Paradise Coaching and Advocacy Services are Not a Substitute for Medical, Legal or Other Advice

Coaching, Advocacy and the Site are not a substitute for medical, psychological, psychiatric, wellness, therapeutic or other diagnosis, care, counseling, advice, consulting or treatment, or for any medicine. Coaching, Advocacy and this Site are not a substitute for legal, financial, tax, personnel, personal, religious, spiritual or other types of evaluation, counseling, advice or representation. You should independently assess any decisions, actions or inactions resulting from or relating to the Site or a coaching experience based on medical, psychological, psychiatric, legal, religious, personnel, personal, financial, tax or other advice as applicable.

Copyright © 2023 · Lifestyle Pro Child Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in